Freaky tales, ICP, true stories, short version
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I met this girl
Her name was Joan
She loved the way I rocked on the microphone
When I met Joan
I took her home
She was just like a doggy all on my bone

There's another girl her name was Pat
She wasn't just thick naw the bitch was Fat
She had pierced nipples and a Twiztid tat
In between her butt cheeks she packed a gat

I know this bitch named Rebecca Lou
She could make you nut in a second or two
She had a wicked surprise you don't expect her to
If you hit the shit raw she just infected you

There's another freak her name was Pearl
Bitch loved nuts like a hungry squirrel
I was tapped out but she tagged her girl
Nutty nuttin' again in a new Neden world
I met this chick named Rosalina
Had to know her scent that hoe was Subpoena
She took off her clothes as soon as I seen her
She had me so stiff she froze my wiener

I knew this girl named Izabel
Bitch wore a bell from Israel
She was a freaky ass Jizzabel
But her neden smelled like a bowl of instant hell

Party night late fix
Met this bitch named Honey Trix
She had five kids at twenty-six
But the bitch'll get pregnant just hummin' dicks

There's a titty dancer, her name was Bri
She had some good pussy and it came for free
Not for everybody just mainly me
I'm a minute man bitch, 'cause I aim to be

I met this hoe named Sweet Denice
Liberian Girl, but the freak's a beast
Chained me to the wall leather and lace
She wanted me to pee all over her face

Snow bunny week end ski slope
Met a sweet church girl said her name was Hope
At first she was a prude cleaner than soap
When I left she was a nympho hooked on dick dope
I met this young chick named Janelle
They say she was a loony but I could not tell
She was cool as hell, it all went well
But there's more to her story like Dave Chappelle

There's another girl, I call her Boo
Cork in the bunghole is all we do
First she like to feed me some barbecue
After that we smoke some weed and sniff some glue

I met this girl, her name was Lois
Me and Shags both, she loved to blow us
The very first time she ain't even know us
She swore she had skills and begged to show us

I once met a bitch named crazy Claire
She seen more dicks than Hane's underwear
I would take a dump, she liked to stare
She definitely had screws loose up there

Skater chick, Lisa Lou
I filled her up quicker than pizza stew
She likes nuts on her belly and she eats it too
She was so small like three foot two

I met this girl, her name was Heather
She was a thug bitch stuck on a tether
She had me come by and bring her shit
But never did I leave without slinging her dick
I knew a chick cop named Cara Cass
She had a Bang! Pow! Boom! Tat on her ass
A 'lette in disguise, she was family
And always let Juggalos off Scot free
She was a freak, she made gansta love
And liked it when I fucked her with her billy club
We cranked Shangri-La fucking in her cop car
She responded to the scene with nut in her hair

Once met a queen named Maureen
Neden so foul it had to be quarantined
It burned through her fabric, and tore her jeans
Like Chemical bombs of war, it seems

I know this bitch named Betreena Ross
Belly so big that the pussy was lost
I dove into find it at any cost
Found something else and her salad got tossed

Met this hottie, her name was Sharon
Her booty was stuffed in the jeans she was wearin'
Blonde pig tails said she liked fat boys
I hit it so hard her ass made a clap noise
She had another friend, red hair, fake tits
I hit it so deep I thought we had eight kids
Her name was Amber but we called her red
The only thing wrong was she never gave head

I knew a mouth doctor named Ugly Anne
Ass like a hippo from here to Japan
But when she gave head I could barely stand
She got the four year waiting list in demand

I met this skank, her name was May
She used to blow my home boy DJ Clay (What up doe?)
She would come through any time of the day
5:30 in the early morning like "Hey!"

I met a cheerleader named Becky Mennard
She was a daddy's girl, took me out on his yacht
She was a bitch, yes, but yet she was hot
She let me hit my wang thang on the G-spot

There's another girl from the southwest side
Gunshot wounds on her neck, she almost died
But she lived, God let her slide
Now she's sittin' on my dick and it's a long ride

I once knew a rapper named Miss O'Neal
She couldn't rhyme for shit but had sex appeal
I whipped out my mic and down she kneel
I spit a hot sixteen, a verse I could feel

Gale from Evendale, we met online
She was lookin' for some penis and sat on mine
She was eight cents, not quite a dime
But still memorable enough to make this rhyme

Big, thick, strong and built
Female wrestler, Lumberjill
She could crack a walnut in her neden for real
But she didn't, I told her lay back and chill

I once met a witch named Azreal
She rides a broom stick, and she lives in Hell
I told her try my stick out, 'cause it's the deal
She possessed my package so it fits the bill

Olivia, had a mouth like a machine
Called The Ejaculator, this bitch is a fiend
Stick in your shit and like you'd never seen
She twists, turns, sucks, and pulls and spits you clean

There's a street walker on Central Ave
Her name was Cinnamon, a spice I had to have
I paid her, scoop her up and drew her a bath
Scrub her neden clean and you do the math

There's a hot wife named Dianne Faye
She never goes out, work gets in the way
It's a fantasy of hers to fuck Violent J
She said it all in a letter I got Friday
I met her at WalMart doin' her chores
Family restroom, behind closed doors
I hit it on the counter while the water pours
The same way I did it with that daughter of yours

Freaky, deaky
Met somebody else's ho that was sneaky
We fucked in the shower right at his place
I nutted in the same rag he washes his face

There's another girl, her name was Flo
She was missin' teeth like my homie Lay Lo
She liked to bone in front of the window
So all her neighbors could see the bitch go
The cops soon showed up, but even so
We wasn't breakin' any laws that you know
We was inside behind a door
So bitches take a picture it'll last you more

Hound dog, groupie
Met a thuggalette named July
If I paint my face she would blow my meat
I told her close her eyes and painted hers with Skeet

A hooker tossed my salad and scuffed her knees
She then took a breather and called Shareese
Both of them hoes tag-teamed my meat
I turned 'em out so good they had to pay me

The very same night, I met with Sky
Not quite a midget but about dick high
No drank needed she was already fly
If you keepin' the record, I scored me a Tri

Early next morning I got a call from Kim
Bitch woke me up at like 6:00 AM (six in the morning)
She was comin' down from a 6 day binge
Fucked her sleep woke her up and we fucked again

Met an old flame, her name Shanelle
She loved this dick in her neden canal
Up and down my back with her fingernails
She jumped on the phone and called some pals
They was gonna meet us at a quarter to twelve
I'm thinkin' three bitches, this is gonna be swell
But when they showed up, dudes, what the hell?
Six eyes got swelled and I'm back in jail

Ho, skank, trick and sluts (COME AND GET IT!)
These dick and nuts
Don't be scared if it fits your butts
Alison, Natalie and all chicks what

I banged this one bitch, Hilary Duff
It weren't really her but who gives a fuck?
Her name was Helen but close enough
It didn't matter to me when she was in the buck

This chicken named Shawna don't front for shit
She only come around to score this dick
I don't play guitar, I don't sing a lick
I just make the bed squeak hard and that's it

I once met a freak named Laura
If your name ain't Shaggy she'll ignore ya
I blew her out back stage, at the Agora
But it was Dougie in the paint ya dumb whore ya

Now I see nothin' wrong with hoggin'
And Pam loves food over joggin'
Feed her good, she'll be bobbin' on your meat stick
Pam Pam hot damn she's a freaky chick

Freak nick '96
Met this ho named Shawna Licks
She was an escort who loved turnin' tricks
And I soon found out she was burnin' dicks

Met a cowgirl named Rachel Lee
I stepped to her and then she had a date with me
She was rodeo champ and she rode on me
And got bumped into a tree when I unloaded my skeet

Once upon a time I met Nadeen
She was forty-two and I was only eighteen
She liked to freak, she's just a fiend
It really didn't matter when I saw her in jeans

I met this hottie named Doctor Lil'
She had a nice neden with a spot to fill
I dumped in her box 'cause she was on the pill
Bumpin' EPMD's "You Gots to Chill"

Knew a hot chick from south of Spain
She was so pretty with a mouth to bang
I loved it when she left her titties out to hang
But Rosetta moved home an' I'm out in the rain

I want a big, freak fat and sloppy
I keep goin' back to watch her mop me
Two tons of fun, big mamma jamma
A country girl from Alabama

I once met a hooker, she did it for free
On the foothill bus number forty-three
All the way in the back she was workin' me
I had my dick beat boxin' I was jammin' the beat

There's a fine bitch sittin' on my face
Thick ass bitch, said her name was Grace
Sweet honey-licious, I enjoyed the taste
But I almost suffocated passed out in place

Met a fine dime, you know my type
Summer the plumber, she'll unclog your pipe
I made my appointment for a Saturday night
Her ass crack showed but that was alright

I once knew a dime, she knew Kung-Fu
I told her bring a friend, and Boo brung two
Dana came through with Amy and Sue
They pleased me until my dick sneezed goo
Ha-Choo

There's another shorty her name was Kay
From the Letters to Cleo band, back in the day
She fell off hard, should've seen it my way
Fuck Cleo, she should've sent them letters to J

Porn star freak, sweet Bri O'neal
She looks good, and her titties are real
I swam through the pussy like a Navy SEAL
But then I woke up so lame I feel

Susan came over on a ninja bike
She was a dyke, but my dick she liked
She pulled her leather pants off and I was psyched
I banged her neden up to get home she hiked

Met a lot of freak in my life span
Freak one night with a hottie named Cam
She had more weed than Amsterdam
I blew a shotgun with her neden lips, damn!

Cam got me so high, fuck comin' down
I called this goofy bitch named Sassy the Clown
She had big balloon titties and a painted on frown
She left paint all on my dick, but I'm down

There's another ho, her name was Jewel
I hit it so hard, she took a dump
Left scratches on my back like a wild raccoon
I can say I won't be back soon

Met a fine bitty, named Dina
She was a built little freak from China
Do I wanna hit it? Well kinda
Even from the back I don't mind ya

Late that night the doorbell rang
The Ferris Twins wanna do that thang
Dina just left, don't know if I can hang
But I'm damn sure about to try, bang bang

I met this chick named Maria Lay
She was a girl scout leader during the day
At night, she in my ear hole, purrin' away
I told her trim her shit there's too much fur in the way

There's a house wife who lives next door
She likes to come by and have sex on the floor
She makes lemonade that she sets on the porch
She cheats on her man 'cause he's such a dork

What was I to do when I met Sue?
Six times Miss Booty of Gallabuzoo
Ass like Nicki Minaj plus two
I don't even know how my dick gets through

I met an English girl named Kiki
Crooked and sneaky but freaky
Both her nipples burn like a tiki
I nutted on her face 'cause she was cheeky

Freak show, sex bot
I met this bitch named Alexa
She had two pussy holes, take your pick
To get the last drop out she'll shake your dick

Micky Mouse club chick Brenda Song
I see her on TV, my dick rose long
I don't wanna diss her or say nothin' wrong
'Cause maybe one day I can peel her thong

I got a call from Roxanne Roxanne
She's a couple blocks down gettin' a tan
She's pretty cool, but I feel boxed in
I hit it one time now she's locked in
She likes the way I hit it, how smoothly I did it
I even ate her booty out, og fuck it, I'll admit it
She fell in love, but I was just drunk
Now she hounds so hard I think I'm gettin' punked

Met a girl named Nina
Or shit, was it Tina?
A thick lil' junky from Pasadena
I thought she was Snooky first time I seen her
Didn't know if I wanted to fuck her or beat her

I'm an asshole, ask Francine
I took her out to dinner and then dancing
Later on we was fucking, it all went wrong
I hit it from behind and called her Brenda Song

I met this bitch from Compton, Cal
She was a Crip and her name was Vel
She tattooed my name right across her neden
I never called back, she wanna stomp my head in

There's another girl, her name's Michelle
Her booty was bigger than a tail on a whale
When I freaked Michelle, I freaked her well
Her pussy got hotter than the flames in hell

Wheezy from the 5-0-3
She was an acrobat and loved to dive on me
Her neden was small, but her titties was huge
She was quick to lick every last drip of dick sploodge

There was one time I undressed Vanessa
Her booty fell out bigger than the dresser
Between her ass cheeks was her home girl Tessa
She must've sat on her and forgot none-the-lesser
Tessa was a twig, Vanessa was big
You wouldn't believe the stupid shit we did
Once we was done, two became one
As Tessa slipped back in where she came from, um

I once met a bomb chick named Swan
She had her iPod on bumpin' the Kong, umm
We got our date on and it was Napalm, umm
Gave me a hummer o-oh what's up son?

I was at the bar when I met Rain
She took me in the girls' room and gave me brains
Then on my wang she rubbed cocaine
I hit it in her ass and she felt no pain

Later that same night I met Stace
The one eyed snake nutted in her face
We fucked like rabbits all over the place
And when the tag came I was gone no trace

When I got home, peep what I did
Young Christine was watchin' my kid
I paid her with cash and then some dick
She stayed and made breakfast before she split

I was in church when I met Desire
She sounded so good leadin' a choir
She said she had more talents I would admire
And my dick soon found out she was no liar

I once met a sweetie named Sherry
She was so hot it was scary
It was trimmed perfect nothin' hairy
All the way to my balls dick buried

Sherry fucked nice but the head was shot
She hooked me up with a pro named Dottie
Who had a hog's face and a penguin's body
But she made me cum quicker than a Mozzarotti

I met an ice skater named Annie
Her neden taste sweeter than candy
Her flexibility came in handy
We both loved to 69 something dandy

I fucked hotties all across America
But never met a bitch like Erica
She looked so fine people stared at her
At the mall we did a butt naked caricature
She was a beauty queen
But loved to cause a scene
At only eighteen she was hellified mean
I finally told her fuck off and left her on the scene
I later seen her getting peed on in a magazine

I bumped into this freak named Trisha
She was part of the Michigan Militia
She would always plot for something to explode
But all she ever got was me and my load uh

I met a lunatic named Jacky
Every time she got horny she would slap me
Something about causin' pain made her happy
She said soft love makin' was sappy
So I got with it and choked the slut
Headbutted her face and punched her in the gut
Soon flexed a hoe and then stretched her more
She screamed butt naked and bolted out the door

Gale, and April too big fans
Always flashing titties way up in the stands
What you tryna do, boo? Let's make plans
My dick and balls package is in your hands

Lindsay Girl from Syracuse
I'm diggin' everything in your pair of shoes
I'm fallin' so hard I need a parachute
I got you a banana and a pair of fruit

I met this girl her name was Tess
In only ten minutes she was out of her dress
She was on drugs and her hair was a mess
But the way she caressed my meat was the best
With such finesse and not a damn thing less
She even let it rest between her chest breast
And right before it bust up in her love nest
She kissed it with zest, and passed the big test

I met an old lady named Ulga Feed
Her pussy smelled like a bowl of pulperie
She knitted me a quilt and we sipped tea
But she only wanted dick hole from me

There's another freak named Sally May
I met her ass sleepin' in an alleyway
She was a bum but that was just fine
'Cause underneath her rag coat, the bitch was a dime

Basketball player named two-tall Lynn
She was a skinny string bean, six foot ten
I slam dunked her neden and shattered the rim
My boys laughed but it really didn't matter to them
To get topped off, I had to climb a ladder
Things went south though when she got fatter
Her knees went bad and then she got sadder
She moved to Belize and told me to scatter

I knew a dick sucker named Vacuum Betty
She would blow your dick even when you ain't ready
As soon as you called before you hang up the phone
Your dick is in her mouth and she's blowin' your bone

Cherry, Cherry, strawberry shake
How many licks of a tongue does it take
Before my candy cane starts to break
But I love the way, make no mistake

I once met a bitch from London, France
Her name was Minnie and she loved to dance
I was so geeked I cum in my pants
But she was always good to give another chance

Freak named Shannon, such a sinner
She smokes that pipe and she's gettin' thinner
Shannon is cool but her mind is gone
One fat bot and it's goin' on

The Bella twins, Brie and the other
Hit it so hard, tryna make them a mother
They both freaked me down including each other
And then fight about which one is my lover

I once knew a hottie named Velvet Sky
She was with my homie but I had to try
She freaked me down so hard I started to cry
She never called back and I don't know why

Leanne from Pakistan
She never had a problem when I pack it in
She snackin' on my nutsack, cackling
Nutted in her ass crack and I'll be back again

I met a movie star named BD
Like the paparazzi, I was waitin'
She came out the party, I stepped with game
A half an hour later she was screamin' my name
As I put it to her, my dick was goin' through her
I blew her neden out deeper than a sewer
She rode on me, we blow'd on tree
She begged me to stay but I rolled on free

There's another girl, her name was Julie
Eighty-five percent of this bitch was booty
To wax every square inch that's my duty
It don't matter but thankfully she a cutie

Hot butt named Jo-Jo
Up and down my knob like a yo-yo
Faster and faster like go, hoe
'Til my nut came shooting like ohhh, oh

Look at this bitch from Monani
In a hot pink thong named Randy
Fuckin' on the beach pussy got sandy
I took the pass option went and got Mandy

Mandy was young, that I could tell
Met her workin' drive thru at Taco Bell
First time she blew me uh not so well
But this last time baby was hot as Hell

There's a fat hottie named Pamalo
I was mad attracted to her Camel Toe
She was so slammin' she had to know
Climbed on top of her belly and I jammed it slow

I knew a red-headed hottie named Harriot
We was at the penthouse in a Marriott
She had a flaming hot red hairy spot
But I cooled it off good with my Cherry Pop

NYC, Ecstasy
She bought me a drink and sat next to me
She pulled my dick out my pant leg sexually
She was a call girl, for me though, the sex was free
Matter of fact, she writes checks to me
When we ain't fuckin' she's textin' me
She's on my dick hard it never gets to me
I just give her this pipe, the best of me

I met a hooker, her name was Meg
She had a fat ass but was missing a leg
I wanted to hit, but I refused to beg
Her neden was bum, smelled like a fried egg

There's another queen, her name's Darlene
Her nipples were sweeter than a jelly bean
She looked so stacked in her painted on jeans
I called her a goddess like Charlie Sheen

Freak one night with a chick named Roe
She kept her cell phone in her camel toe
Somebody blew it out before me though
When I was up in it I didn't even know

Neden tatted, pierced and shaved
I met a punk rocker said her name was Jay
She said a golden shower is how she played
Her pee sprayed out like lemonade
Fuck that I just won't get laid
If that's what you teachin' I flunk that grade
I ain't havin' that even if you paid
I blew her mouth out like a hand grenade

I met this honey, her name was Bunny
She was from Brooklyn and she called me Dunny
She blew my dick like its nose was runny
The ass was worth it's weight in money

Freaky D worked at Pizza Hut
A freaky slut 'cause she eats your butt
I seen her digits carved into a stall
She came right over and gargled my balls

I bumped into this girl her name was Rosalita
We hit the hotel and had it goin' on
Holiday inn until the break of dawn
When I took baby home I freaked her mom

Late night sex with Lexy
My dick grew harder than a can of Pepsi
When the bitch nutted it was like epilepsy
I knocked her boots back home to Poughkeepsie

I met a fine flower, her name was Laburn
I hit it for an hour my dick was stern
With nothin' but power, my engine turned
Then it got sour, dried up and burned

I met a giddy broad named big Joelle
She loved suckin' dick, hoe, quick as hell
She love it when my dick grow thick and swell
But then it shoot, spit turn weak and frail

I met an angel named sweetie Marie
Her neden hole taste like key lime pie
Up and down, all around, suckin' me dry
My sweet butterfly got nut in her eye

Miss-No-Name California hottie
Asked me to sun-tan lotion her body
Is she playing? She must be kiddin'
I slipped my finger up into her neden
At first, she resisted, and then she insisted
Finally pulled my hand out and kissed it
Took me to her hotel, few words said
Stranger lovin', we broke the bed

Meth head Beth took her on a date
She was eighteen goin' on fifty-eight
I couldn't hit it though, I did debate
But her mugly face was just too great

Plus size model named Carol
Her belly was bigger than a barrel
She would throw me around like a rag doll
She goes out with some other fag now

I met another girl, her name was Bloom
Some poor sucker would be her groom
I put my foot in her neden and it still had room
Her shit was so blew-out we call her kaboom

There's a fine hoe named Coconut
She'll make you mad enough to choke the slut
She humps so rough she broke your nut
Then she'll make it up to ya, let you poke her butt

Sexy freak, her name was Fox
That chick in high school everybody jocks
Now she's lettin' me bang her box
I couldn't find a rubber, I used my socks

There's a find thing named Morgan
A Gothic freak who plays the organ
Black fingernails, black clothes, black hair
But up under there, hot pink thong-wear uh

Met Lynn at the water park
Off the diving board, I heard her fart
Her cheeks turned red I said worry not
I was more concerned with that furry spot

There's another girl, her name was Rita
Baby thought I might mistreat her and beat her
I told her like this: she can suck my Peter
Or either go home, 'cause I knew I didn't need her

Three weeks ago, I met this freak
She followed me around like Mary Sheep
I hid around the corner, and when she came
I grabbed her by the arm and I asked her name
She said her name was Nora
I could see her aura
Her Neden was a forest and my dick was an explorer
I truly did adore her
I could not ignore her
Kept a pair of her soiled panties hidden in my drawer

I met a little squirrel named Sandy Cheeks
I chased that neden round town for weeks
Her nipples were crooked and her booty hole leaks
But that be the 'haps fuckin' with sewer freaks

I once met a nurse said her name was Peach
Her face was hit, looked a lot like Screech
Her body was the hottest on the Florida beach
Her titties were so fine I spent an hour on each

Look who it is, Vivian
The baddest dick rider in Michigan
As soon as you nut you wanna hit again
And she'll work your stick into oblivion

Oh my god, here comes Heidi
In her yellow panties, see through nighty
She'll make your limp dick strong and mighty
But her voice sounds like MC Shy D

I got a phone call from Jasmine
She was a porn star but a hasbeen
She was a no tan pasty white chalky hoe
Livin' in Mexico doing a donkey show

Aloha, Lola from Oahu
I thought I didn't but I got to
She had a thick bush, but I shot through
She claims I ate it but it's not true

I had a stalker named Maddy
A short stout plump little fatty
She parks outside in her caddy
And wants my physique like badly
I bring home hoes, and she runs 'em off
And dresses like a palm tree when I play golf
I finally decided I would stuff that muff
One good plow and she had enough

I met this cougar named Alicia Burn
She was well equipped to unleash your sperm
She fucked so tough she would tweak your perm
Drop to her knees and freak your worm

Sugar delight
Friday night
It's goin' down
Wicked clown

Two days ago, I met this gal
She bought fake titties at a rummage sale
One of them was flat, and that was stale
But she offered some tail, I think I shall

Holla'd at this girl folks called her Peg
Body was shaped kinda like a egg
I was ten pumps in, of course from behind
Snapped the rubber off and busted on her spine

Met another dame named Ricky Jones
I love the way she screams her freaky moans
Ass like a Clydesdale this bitch owns
I would bust my nut and feel it in my bones

Big broad bitch named Baby Bard
As everywhere, packed full of lard
Titties tatted up with Joker Cards
After I'd nut my dick stayed hard

Met an Amish girl named Mary-Anne
She liked my meat, no vegetarian
Home-made wine we drank Cherry-Anne
We fucked like hogs, it was scary man

Heat sweat, hot and sticky
Met this thing named Tricky Vicky
She loved to play a game called lick the dicky
On top of my mushroom tip a hickey

Ricky Lake, talk show host
At one time she was known coast-to-coast
We drank all night to my dick we toast
Brag I will and I'm quick to boast
She liked it when I licked the most
Took her out to eat, we ate pig roast
That's her tongue on the tip of my post
I killed that neden, now it's a ghost

Ninth grade teacher, Ms. Malane
I met her years later after I got paid
She took me home, overnight I stayed
We fucked all night as the Beach Boys played

I like big asses, big as the moon
I met big mama named Giant June
She had more ass than her panties had room
I laid underneath and she loomed with doom
She sat on my dick and the bed went boom
My scrotum popped as you might assume
Too much weight, bendin' my broom
I'm buried in ass, or is it my tomb?

Fine ass prom queen Jillian
Her neden was worth a million
I killed that pussy and I kill it again
She loved my little buddy Gilligan

Last name Kim, first name Gale
She could make my dick grow hard as a nail
I won't tell a lie though the sex was stale
'Til I corked that booty, the holy grail
I delivered my dick like urgent mail
Her neden was open like a garbage pale
She wanted to cum, I refused to fail
Hit it hard from behind like we was in jail

Brothel window in the front of her home
Met a fine hottie named Moanin' Joan
Her lips were injected with silicone
But way too much and it's killin' my bone

I like fake titties but prefer the real
Skin tight clothes, mini skirts and heals
Wild Wanda with flirt appeal
She jacks my wang 'til it squirts her meal

Pop star Rihanna and Katy Perry
Both hoes look good enough to marry
Lady Gaga looks more like Larry
I heard she has nuts, big and hairy

Kinky freaks Nessa and Nan
They want whips and chains and S&M
They don't even want you kissin' them
But I make love and don't mess with them
I like to hump, and hug and stroke
I ain't out here tryna to get choked
See me if you want them neden's poked
And I like havin' my penis smoked

Five months ago, I met this dame
I have to admit I never asked her name
She took it in her mouth, all the same
Her pig tails spun every time I came

I met a vixen named Dorothy Zoe
Back in the day, she was a dorky hoe
Her booty got bigger and bigger some mo'
And now that ass drags on the flo'

I once knew a freak named Jessa Jan
She was much hotter than the rest of them
I bust everywhere on her chest and chin
It didn't take long to have sex again

Debra Dunne from Dublin
She loves the fact I'm scrubbin'
She sick of the stud she was rubbin' on
Now it's my snack she's grubbin' on

Hanky Panky Hillary
Sex so rough she's killin' me
I begged and pleaded, slow your role
She's dominatrix, with total control

Wicked, mean ass Kari Ann
I see you on TV, screamin' again
On celebrity rehab, you was a bitch
But I love the way you make your booty switch
Sex addiction, let's overdose
And fuck each other 'til we comatose
Carry Anne let's ditch this peanut stand
And do what me and my dick have planned

Victoria Justice, much too young
But I can't tell my meat that 'cause it's sprung
Nickelodeon girl, come get some
You finna get slimed, this time it's cum
Chris Hansen tried to shut me down
But she was eighteen 'cause I checked around
Call me sick, I'm a wicked clown
Old ass pervert, five-hundred pounds, bitch

I'm sick like syphilis
But I was just right for this chick Phyllis
She was suicidal, once slit her wrists
She's like a time bomb, don't get her pissed

Don't look now, her comes Lulu
Like Phyllis, she too was coo-coo
She made a doll of me cursed with voodoo
Don't laugh fool 'cause she'll do you too
Her pussy tastes better than granny's stew
It was a mouthful like Big League Chew
Her mouth was full when she did me too
She swallow and never liked to spit free goo

Muscle-bound bitch, huge biceps
She jacked my meat off, several reps
When it came to the sex, I'd better last
Cum too quick and she would kick my ass

Betsy Bets, a straight up mess
Award winning nipples but saggy breasts
Spread that neden out smooth like butter
When I said "bend over," I did not stutter

Serenis, Serenis, she'll clean out your penis
Bitch gave brains like a certified genius
She'll tear that dick up one of the meanest
If you're talkin' booty-hole she's got the cleanest

I fucked Jolene eight times a day
Like Burger King you can have it your way
If you're up in her guts you might get lost
Swim through the skins and neden sauce

Late night, bump that bass
I hump on pace in and out of her face
5:00 AM, dick like cement
We never knew each other's name, we was both bent

There was a doggy, humpin' my leg
Its owner got jealous, her name was Peg
She kicked it in the ass and checked it quick
She barked like a dog as I inject this dick

This bitch named Bubbles, fresh out on parole
I'm in my squad car on pussy patrol
I got the handcuffs and put her under arrest
And sentenced my skeet all over her breast

Call me the Sultan with the harem of hoes
Nine are fine and one's head I s'pose
Ten are in my bed, we don't need clothes
I'm smothered in pussy holes down to my toes
The more the merrier, it's how I rolls
Add a bitch, another few inches it grows
I picked most these hoes up rockin' shows
Brag about it on Twitter, that's how it goes

Met a heavy chick built like a pumpkin
She loved foreplay and a lot of dry humpin'
The only bone was scabs on my meat
Bitch never even got naked, weak

Titty bar, thunder and rain
I spring hoes from Alison to Zane
And every damn last bitch in between
Led 'em back to my house with a trail of cocaine

I met a fine thang waitress at Denny's
She said come to a party at her girl Jenny's
I asked about puss, she said I could have plenty
Said I'll call you later and tipped her four pennies

Gettin' topped off down 75
High on meth, she was all the way live
Slam into a wall, I barely survived
She finished my nut off before she died

Circus broad that swallowed swords
Head-butted bricks and kicked through boards
The head was incredible, and I was fluttered
I clenched my butt cheeks as I nutted

Darlin' Dureaky, I met her at a pub
She was my partner in the mile high club
We threesome'd with her sister in my hot tub
I ate they pussies like a plate of hot grub

Redneck Beau from Mississippi
Her teeth looked like she brushed with Jiffy
Her face was hit, bust my nut in a spiffy
She begged me to eat it but that was too iffy
Her Grandpa Ken came bustin' in
So much beard, the sun missed his chin
Out the window, he's shootin' but
A hottie drivin' by straight scooped me up

I met this girl, her name was Jenna
My dick stood straight up like an antenna
She had a box, I was dyin' to enter
But she gave head like a sad beginner

There's another freak named Sonya Soy
She had fine lumps like an Almond Joy
She liked erotica, lotions and toys
I couldn't satisfy her, took all my boys

There's a girl I wanna bring up again
Brenda Song with my nut on her chin
I give up, she'll never let me hit
Unless she falls off on meth and shit
Then I'll have a chance peelin' off her pants
Penis to the pussy I slowly advance
Together we in bed, she lean in to give me head
But first I eat the pussy like a Thanksgiving spread

I once knew a hottie named Cocomo
She could turn my dick into a totem pole
She cupped my balls and blowed 'em slow
I eat nedens but prefer to poke 'em though

Hot ass head turner named Pauline
She was nothin' friendly, this bitch is all mean
She could break your dick off and leave you crawling
Don't think I'm in love yet, but I'm falling

Fine ass chick, her name: Billy
Big fake titties like Jennifer Tilly
Her neden hole queefed and I thought it was silly
But it felt nice, vibrated my willy

Sue, I wanna be pals with you
Sexy hair dresser out of Malibu
She has a couple of sisters I'ma nail 'em too
Keep suckin', ho, I'll be sailin' goo

Lacy Lace, let's leave this place
Back to the Tally hop on my face
Pretty ass taco, how's about a taste?
She teased me with it, wild goose chase
She got me goin' looney mental case
Big ass titties and a skinny waist
Stroke that shit just keep the pace
It sprays like mace, my sticky paste

One fine dime, her name was Kenna
Her booty had a tattoo "Do not enter"
She said whip it out, I said I'm finna
Run up in her like Joe Bruce Jenner

Centerfold named Gigi
Titties pointed out like tipis
I bust my load and have weak knees
Her nipples harder than BBs

I met a stanky thang named Natalie
She wondered if my dick was fat like me
The only way to find out: straddle me
Sent a bitch back home happily

Met a fine hottie, they called her Kat
She made my dick harder than a baseball bat
On the tip of my cap is where she sat
She spun around thrice and my dick went splat

Fine chick, white hot Becca Lynn
Sexy ass nedens I'm wreckin' them
Big bangin' ass I'm checkin' that
Bust my nut in seconds flat

Don't look now, I'm the pussy inspector
And this right here is my skeet injector
I eat hoes like Hannibal Lecter
I'm a porn star actor and director

Groupie Rachel
She was excited, okay, chill
We goin' on a date so take your pill
Make no mistake, your neden's gettin' filled

Don't be late, come get the real
The sex is great and it's a thrill
Don't hesitate, hop on the dill
'Til the bed break and bet it will

Skeet, skeet, sweet Beverley
She could make you skeet so cleverly
She could make you skeet so heavenly
Covered in skeet, and she's seventy

That was gross, but so is Lois
We'd hit it in the ass, and then she'd blow us
Always on time, she would never ho us
She had crooked titties and loved to show us

School bus driver named Miss Manoe
Her neden hole looked like a big canoe
Her titties looked like piles of puddin' goo
I still hit it though, wouldn't you?

Ooh, ooh, I'm nuttin' again
Thinkin' about my home girl Lenn
She was hellafied, a perfect ten
Carmel, buttery sulky skin
What I gotta do to get back in?
Wet like a mermaid without the fin
I been jackin' off, tryna pretend
Showed up at her house and left with a grin

Here we go
Juggalos
You and all your pals
Wackin' up freaky tales

Two months ago, I met Blossom
She comes around at night like a possum
She's lookin' for skeet bombs, baby I gots 'em
On top of that my dick work is awesome

There's another broad, her name was Keisha
Everything on her was her best feature
I was the pupil and she was my teacher
She could be far and my dick will still reach her

Right on my face, baby I'll seat ya
Don't need a fork or a spoon to eat ya
Ninjas wanna fuck you as soon as they meet ya
I'ma tear that ass up like some kind of creature

Thick, hot, pretty ass Peg
Skeet on tap like I'm packin' a keg
She has a gay brother, his name was Greg
Fuckin' in the dark, someone's touchin' my leg
Cut the fuckin' lights on, he was gone
I hope it was the cat and that I was wrong
Either fuckin' way, I lost my bone
Put my fuckin' pants on I'm goin' home

Met a stripper chick named Megan
Forty-five year old, titty-saggin'
On top of that, baby was raggin'
Even so, there I was still taggin'

Met a super hottie named Crystal Lash
She was known to pull her pistol fast
Paid young honey well equipped with cash
But still super freaky, she would lick your ass

Monica, an erotic hoe
Met her at the bar at the Bellagio
I thought she was an escort, but what do I know?
She was just a horny hottie, though

There's another chick, Gloria
The head was pure euphoria
The pussy-hole was heaven sent
So tight my dick's forever bent

It's evident, she's one of the best
But nothin' like sweet Evanese
I wiped my dick off on her dress
And left my skeet spewed on her chest

We fucked all night and never rest
Straight hump and butt fuck never kiss
She even brought a special guest
For the three-way salad tossin' fest

Scary Jerry, a funny broad
If you seen her give head, you would applaud
The way she bobs her neck is odd
She'll get the job done 'cause she's no fraud

Freaky little bombshell named Rochell
Red hair, big titties, southern bell
With big buck teeth and two pigtails
We partied I drank and she did rails

Gangsta bitch, three time felon
Ass like two fat watermelons
I peeped that shit and my dick start swellin'
Now I'm up in that pussy dwellin'

Hangin', loiterin', holdin' it steady
Like I do with burlesque Betty
She told me call her when I'm ready
She blow my wad like pop confetti

I called and called and blew her up
That night she let me do her butt
I screamed with joy as I spew my nut
And shot my goo all on the slut

What, what? Here we go
Met an English girl named Cheerio
Only two teeth, she was a scary hoe
Most of her titties were areola

La, from the carnival bar
She sucked dicks and turned tricks out of her car
She sang 'fore you bust, played a lot of guitar
Last I heard she moved to Guadalajara

Raw Rhonda, Rhonda, foreign small built like a Honda
She had home girls, Andra and Sandra
Triple teen dream lovin' here to Rowanda

And I kinda wanna fuck her
Talk about Delorious midnight trucker
She licks my wang like a blowpop sucker
But then she got preggers and now I dump her

Kerplunk, my dick just sunk
Right up in her trunk of funk
I bang out her badonkadonk
I dumped my junk and then it shrunk

I woke up to the sound of a couple bitchin
He yelled, "go home," she yelled, "good riddance!"
I yelled through the window of my kitchen
"Hey baby-boo, what your name is?" Gretchen
Fuck that lame fool, come inside
No need to walk, I'll give you a ride
I hit it all night as her boyfriend cried
I woke up to the aroma as breakfast fried

I once knew a chick named Sophia
A hottie out of Ethiopia
She asked what I'm doin' I'm gropin' ya
Are we gonna fuck? Well I'm hopin' to

I knew a young sweetie named Bobbit
She was much shorter than a hobbit
Her neden hole I liked to mug and rob it
My mouth dick and fingers we mob it

There's another freak, her name was Fran
Skeet in her pussy that was my plan
I wanna bang it out as hard as I can
Her neden's so hot it gave my dick a tan

I knew a big woman named Ulga
She was like a bowl but I rolled her
I wasn't scared of her and I told her
Until I caught a wiff of that polder

I knew an inked up girl named Tatty Tats
One of them broads with thirty cats
She was against all Jimmy hats
But saved the cigars and those congrats
I pulled out and coulda dumped on her waist
But chose instead to aim for that face
You crazy bitch, get you a taste
She tattooed where my skeet was placed

There's another dame, her name was Sean
I jammed it in the ass 'til the break of dawn
In the bedroom, back yard and front lawn
I attacked that booty like Ghangis Khan

Hotel, no sell
We don't need a room just the Isle of Belle
We scared the deers, she was wild as hell
I get thank you letters, a pile of mail

Late night sex with Abatha
She fucks you like she's mad at ya
She'll brutalize and ravage ya
Ooh yeah, like Randy Savage y'all

Will I fuck Helen? There's no tellin'
As soon as she calls my dick starts swellin'
I walked to her house thank god I'm Gellin'
Bad knews she ain't with dudes like Ellen

Veronica, Veronica
I blew on her neden harmonica
We fucked for seven days straight, our own Hanukkah
She could flex her neden bionica

I met a Texas hooker, her name was Alice
She claimed she fucked two thirds of Dallas
Her pussy was a used up big ass callous
I won't lie, hittin' that shit was the stalest

I had an old Girlfriend, her name was Tish
Her booty was flawless, perfectionist
She could blow your nut off with just a kiss
Man oh man, that bitch I miss
People find her, I tracked her down
Her new boyfriend smacked her around
I cracked his crown out of town that night
The old bed squeeked nuts on her itch slap sound

Late night humpin', body parts thumpin'
Met this hottie said her name was somethin'
She was freaky, shaved clean and neatly
Pristine and squeaky, she eats me weekly

Late night creepin' with Melanie
She screamed big J keep nailin' me
The dirty talk baby was tellin' me
Straight up oughta be a felony

Laona, Laona, straight out of Daytona
It's her pussy but I'm the owner
Fireworks in the sky every time I bone her
We lay on the beach and sip Coronas

There's another freak, her name was Lauren
Her pussy came so hard it was pourin'
I knocked that ass out 'til the mornin'
When I left her neden hole was still snorin'

Thick ass thighs, strong ass tummy
I met a pro dancer, stage name Yummy
She had false teeth and gave me a gummy
I seen her act and the shit was crummy

I met a fine ass chick named Shya
Her pussy was burnin' set my beard on fire
I ate that biscuit 'til my tongue grew tired
She was a call girl and my time expired

Look at this butterfly, so damn fine
Her ass was immaculate, her name's Divine
I met her in a church confession line
I pulled her panties to the side and stabbed it from behind

Hot mama, middle aged queen named Joyce
We fucked in her plushed out pink Rolls Royce
She had an old dried up whiskey voice
Her manicured pussy was always first choice

I once knew a freak named Joanne
She would give the neden up for no man
I fought for it harder than Hulk Hogan
I begged let me hit it, and she said I sure can

Sexy hot and racy
I met this chick named JC
She blew me from that back, she's crazy
But so acrobatic and amazing
She hung by her feet from the chandalier
And stuck her face up in my rear
What the fuck is she doin' now?
We screwin', bang pow boom and plow

Renae, Renae, this hoe don't play
I wanna make love until we float away
Take a short break, maybe smoke a jay
And then we can stroke, poke and play

I met a super freak named Caroline
Her neden had me hooked like heroin
Through her pussy, my dick came barrelin'
I want every hoe in this world we in

So there I am, Tokyo, Japan
Met a geisha girl named Gina Chan
She cleaned my dick, like spick and span
She cooked me steak and served me clam

I knew a big broad named Becky
If she falls on me she'll wreck me
She fell on my dick directly
And worked her weight correctly
All that side straight pressure rise
To that hot spot between her thighs
I bust my load and rolled back my eyes
Big Becky cool like one of the guys

I met a rich bitch, her name was Blair
She was a West Palm beach millionaire
Fuck the money though, I didn't care
I wanted that ass and up in there
She was clean, douched and prepped
I was sprung and she had me pimped
I was her boy toy, full of joy
I thought she loved me 'til she called me Roy

There's another chick named Victory
She had this thing with lickin' me
Includin' my ass, which was sick to me
I tried hers and it taste like Hickory

I met a cowgirl, said her name was Ruth
She could whistle for a horse with her big ass tooth
This bitch stunk if you want the truth
Even so I knocked her boots all the way to Duluth

Holy fuck, pull over the car
Street walkin' beauty like a shining star
She was perfect, from behind so far
When she turned around she looked like GWAR

Met this hottie named Neeka
Ass like alpha ann seeka
Couldn't tell but I think she was a tweeka
When we fucked she was louder than a speaka

I met a young hottie at seven eleven
She asked for a favor, said her name was Heaven
Would I buy her a case of Bud
And if I do we'd make some love
She was nineteen and I was old
Her neden was warm and my dick was cold
I bought that brew like I was told
And spent some time up in her folds

I met this bitch named Cherry Puss
We both loved smokin' strawberry Kush
We got so high in her mama's basement
In between her legs is where my face went

The Hatchet Boyz, kings of the mat
Wrestled one night and I met this rat
Named Fiona, her belly was fat
But her titties weren't all that pancake flat

There's a girl named Zora at the party store
She makes no secret she's a dirty whore
We fucked in the cooler, my ass was cold
'Cause I laid on the floor as my dick she rode

Three sister, Lola, Lea and Lana
Two was nineteen the other older than Madonna
All fine as hell, fuck 'em all I wanna
Threw my dick in their faces like a Hurricanrana

Mike E. Clark, Legz Diamond too
They can vouch, these rhymes are true
All my homies have heard us brag
They know about the hoes we tag

Our young homie Clay heard us rap
And said he had way more freaks than that
We told 'em like this, they might be freakin'
But boy you never had ICP treatment

Isma Romero

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