Arlus de Jim Shepard

Arlus came onto the scene in a no-frills, no-holds-barred action sequence. She controlled the room, she captivated those who could bear her presence. Where she appeared from to this day I do not know. The scene was blooming, bands tuning up at clubs that were only open a short time. She came out thunder-hoved in full dykedom. One night she informed me that the last guy she slept with was Max Flash. Arlus was the real deal, no bullshit, no pretension. Arlus, lover, taker, she had arrived. Arlus was not to be one-upped in any form or matter. She said, fuck you, and formed a band called The Blunt Stitches. After all, after tossing off her birth name, Gaynor, she was now Arlus Stitch. Her band was good. I have rare film footage shot by Squidfish on 8mm. Her two signature songs were "Eat my wad" and "These hips were made for humping." She said, fuck you, and slayed 'em.
Arlus confided in me that she often hung out at the Greyhound station and had sex in toilet stalls, with the array of gals going to and fro from Detroit to Decatur, from Belmont to Belcroft.
Arlus had no trouble at all getting sex on command. She'd walk up to a chick at a party and tell her, "I want to eat your pussy." Soon after, you'd see the two of them leaving hand in hand.
Arlus's weakness was the big H, heroin. That's how she went out of this fucked-up world. Walked into a restaurant bathroom, did up her works, and it was over quicker than you can recite the Chinese alphabet backwards. Like her glowing fireball persona, a few days after finding her body, they stuffed her in an oven, turned up the flames, and poof. She was ash.
Arlus was known for her antics. My favorite goes like this: She had a female friend, for some reason, sold Tupperware. The girl would invite some Susie homemaker wannabes over to her apartment and demonstrate the various Tupperware products. Picture the scenario. Anyway, on the night of the party, the wannabes are startled by the front door being almost taken off the hinges. The door flies open, Arlus stumbles in, as the Tupperware queen is demonstrating her wares by filling a Tupperware container with potato salad. Arlus sees the potato salad, whips down her blue jeans, and proceeds to grab a handful of the edible concoction. She slops the handful of salad up inside of her pussy and yells out: "You cunts want to eat potato salad? Then start eating." End of story.
Thank you, Charlie Redcloud.

- much.
Oh, no.
Not nothing at all.
I was flabbergasted by the headlines.