Classified de C. W. Mccall

I's thumbin' through the want ads in the shelby county tribune when this classified advertisement caught my eye. it said, "take imme-di-ate delivery on this '57 chevrolet half-ton pickup truck. will sell or swap for a hide-a-bed and thirty-five bucks. call one-four-oh, ring two, and ask for ;
Well, i called bob up on the telephone, he says, "hello, this is bob speakin'." i says "this here the bob got the pickup truck for sale?" he says, "; i says, "where are ya?" he says, "fourteen east on county 12, turn right on the one-lane gravel road, you can park in the yard, beware of the dog, wipe your feet off, knock three times, and bring your ;
Well, i tooled on east on county 12, turned right on the one-lane gravel road, and i parked in the yard and a german shepherd come out and grabbed onto my leg. then i knocked three times and wiped my feet, the dog let go and the screen door opened and bob come out and says "whaddya want?" i says, "come to see your ; he says, "follow me. come on, ; (dog's name is frank.)
Well, we all went past the chicken house, through the hog pen, down to the tractor shed, and then wound up in back of the barn in a field of cowpies. and settin' right there in a pool of grease was a half-ton chevy pickup truck with a 1960 license plate, a bumper sticker says "vote for dick" and brillo box full of rusty parts, and bob says "whaddya think?".
Well, i kicked the tires and i got in the seat and set on a petrified apple core and found a bunch of field mice livin' in the glove compartment. he says, "her shaft is bent and her rear end leaks, you can fix her quick with an oily rag. use a nail as a starter; i lost the key. don't pay no mind to that whirrin' sound. she use a little oil, but outside a' that, she's ;
I says, "what'll take?" he says, "what've you got?" i says, "twenty-eight dollars and fifteen ; he says, "you got a deal. sign here, i'll go get the title and a can full of ; i put the nail in the slot and fired 'er up; she coughed and belched up a bunch a' smoke and i backed her right through the hog pen into the yard.
Well, frank jumped in and bit my leg and i beat him off with a crowbar. he jumped on out and the door fell off and the left front tire went flat. i jacked it up and patched the tube and frank tore a piece of my shirt off. then bob come out and called him off and says "you better'd get on out of ;
I went left on the one-lane gravel road, went fourteen west on county 12. took two full quarts of forty-weight oil just to get her to the conoco station. and i pulled up to the regular pump and then harold sykes and his kid come out. he says, "i've seen better stuff at junkyards and where'd you ever get that truck?"
I says, "that's a long story, harold. i's thumbin' through the want ads in the shelby county tribune when this classified advertisement caught my eye. it said, "take imme-di-ate delivery on this '57 chevrolet half-ton pickup truck. will sell or swap for a hide-a-bed and thirty-five ;